He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not

I've come to the conclusion that I hate being poly sometimes.  Actually, it's not so much that as hating the young kids I seem to get involved with.  I'm not talking about people who are way under age or anything.  Both of them are legal.  Actually, Chesh, who turns 24 this August is great.  He's very supportive of everything this lifestyle is bringing to us.  He's been wonderful.  Unfortunately, my newer partner, let's call him Wolf for sake of anonymity, because unless you know me personally, you don't need to know a real name that's easily to identify, is not so understanding.  He's actually driving me to wit's end.

Chesh has been coming to me since I started getting involved with Wolf with concerns.  In the past three months Chesh and I have had sex all of five times.  Now, Chesh is a very sexual person, so I'm sure you can imagine how he's handling that.  He doesn't have another partner at the moment and has already pretty much told me that if the sex stops, so does our relationship.  He's right, sex is a vital part of a relationship.  However, I can't kiss him, cuddle with him, anything in front of Wolf or he gets jealous and upset.  Wolf has already expressed I'm not allowed to have sex while he's in the house, and I've gone with it, though I'm kind of wondering who gives him the authority to make the rules, especially rules on my primary relationship.

I think that's another point where he's getting confused, Chesh is my primary.  He holds seniority, as it were.  I've been involved with Chesh for two and a half years.  I've only been with Wolf for three months.  I don't feel he has a right to make rules on what I can and cannot do with my partner in the house.  I've played along because, well, I don't want to upset him or hurt his feelings, but it's ruining my relationship with Chesh.  That's not fair to me, and it's definitely not fair to Chesh.

In the past couple weeks Chesh is starting to feel like Wolf is trying to get rid of him, trying to weed him out.  He's slowly taking away all of my time with Chesh for an assumption that Chesh and I have sex while he's at work pretty much all the time.  How that's going to work when they're working the same shift, I have no idea. Besides, I've got my own issues.  I can't have sex in the morning when I'm under this much stress.  I'm not in the mood. I've got the kids on my mind.  I'm far more likely to have a panic attack.  It's just not happening.

What really gets me in all of this is he doesn't care about anyone but himself.  He told me last night that if I wanted to have more of a sexual relationship with Chesh, I just needed to get my panic attacks in order.  It's not fair to say my panic attacks are preventing things, yet he's not allowed to be jealous.  Every time I try to convey to him that I've been in a similar situation to his before, he's got to throw out all the ways it's different, so I can't possibly understand.  Apparently no one can understand his suffering but him and I have to be completely supportive of his jealousy because he's supportive of my mental problems, like that's somehow fair.  He doesn't care about what anyone is going through but him.

I don't know.  I just feel like Wolf is really just a selfish brat.  I know he's only 22 and he's got a lot of growing up to do, but I don't feel I should have to wait around for that.  I'm hitting one of the lowest lows I've ever hit in my life, and he's a huge part of that.  I just can't do it anymore...